Archives For Faith

My Life On The Cusp

March 1, 2013 — 4 Comments

The past week has been very revealing. It reminded me of how busy I used to be. For the last three days I’ve been knee-deep in interviews for a new job. It went very well and I’m excited about the opportunity. But I could hardly keep up with the news regarding B16.

And this is most likely going to be emblematic of my life going forward. I will be absorbed by the necessity of engaging in a productive life leveraging the gifts that God has given me. But I will also have to doggedly keep my heart’s compass pointed towards Him so that I walk sure-footedly. Most of the planet has this same challenge. But how many pull it off?

I plan to. I’m committed to this duality and I sense that this new scenario is absolutely God’s will. We’ll see.

Driving home–six long hours–my thoughts ricocheted about like a ball in a squash game. It was a chance to let my brain maneuver between the multifaceted walls of what I believe to be a balanced existence–the human and the divine. Let me share a few random reflections.


I’ve learned that Catholic faith is a gift from God, a pure package of divine relationship that can be eternal or momentary depending on the choices my free will makes. I’m aware that my intellect, another gift from God, is to be exercised in deepening my faith, and my level of religious knowledge, although growing, is light years removed from the scholars and thinkers who inspired me in my conversion. And here’s what I know instinctively. If my faith goes south or at least, vacations a bit too much, I should expect the road of life would be bumpier. Not so much that problems are multiplied but my handling of those problems is handicapped.

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Just recently, part of my spiritual journey was introduced to a Catechesis class. I was honored. But there’s more to the story. You see, I became a Catholic in 2001 and the circumstances surrounding my conversion were a small miracle in the truest sense. That can’t be overemphasized. But I was a tough nut to crack and ultimately, it took a couple of whacks to bring me home to the Catholic Church.

Faith and Reason

As I reflect back on my “pagan” days, I used to wake up every morning subconsciously hungering for the four gods of Aquinas––wealth, pleasure, power and honor. In my selfish mind, a day would not be complete unless I somehow roped one of them. Would I have articulated this? Not at all. But these temptations were my engine, my raison d’être.

I’ve joked before that you’re more likely to see a Volkswagen tap dance than a saint emerge from Hollywood. Well, my miracle may not be equivalent to a Bojangling compact, my zip code was off by a digit and I’m no saint, but on one particular life-changing day, God intervened.

As a non-believing, God-apathetic, skirt-chasing hellraiser, I had just finished writing my first screenplay. It made the rounds of producers and directors and was well received. The plot dealt with racism and terrorism and the script ultimately was considered too controversial. At the time, the head literary agent of a major Hollywood talent agency represented me and said I should immediately begin to write another screenplay.

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At the end of Part Two, I had listed a sampling of man-made religions and their prime architect. The differences and sometimes divisiveness of these faith and belief systems––and yes, Catholicism is fairly turbulent at the moment––is a hallmark of the human condition and at times, has spurred trouble on the world stage, especially when religion is co-opted by intolerance. That simple statement has been the impetus for books that fill libraries.


However, to my point on spiritual discovery, when I read some of the doctrines and interpretations attributable to these various religions or the like, and I emphasize some, at times I find them insular, problematic, sometimes cultish and occasionally nonsensical. Additionally, it could be said that many of the Christian schisms were attributable to pride and not charity, so the motivations for their dissent have to be seriously questioned.

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